


Part of the Journey is the End

by onlydaisy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, I hate the russos and I want to fix everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18950935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlydaisy/pseuds/onlydaisy
Summary: Tony Stark was right, part of the journey is the end. So, I'm talking to you Joe and Anthony, why does the journey suddenly not matter at all when you made the end?AKA I loved Endgame as a movie but what the Russo's did with characters that have been developing for ELEVEN years has very much angered me so I want to fix it all.AKA what Endgame would've been if the Russo's had paid attention to the last 22 movies.Needless to say, major Endgame spoilers.





	1. Tony and Nebula

**Author's Note:**

> A small list of the things I hated that they did with the characters: the hum-drum reaction to Nat's death, Steve being very out of character and leaving the man he LITERALLY gave up everything for, everything that happened to Tony in general, Thor being a laughing stock and only being depressed because of blaming himself for Thanos (very ooc for him, he'd just try again) and nothing to do with the fact that he's lost everything, the rushed beginning trying to get to the time-jump, the downplay of Nebula and Tony's relationship, and many many more.
> 
> Please read ahead if you agree with me.
> 
> There will be a lot of canon-following, but fixing all of the Russo's shit, and then some nice happy times after the movie ends. The chapters will probably be extremely varied lengths, so don't @ me about it.

After the dust settled, literally, Tony had to take a moment to get himself together. Peter's dead. It's his fault, too. If he'd stopped Thanos, Peter would still be here. Strange said that there was only one possibility where they won, and they lost it. Tony takes a deep breath, pushing down every emotion that's trying to force its way up and out, filling his throat, eyes, ears, head. It consumes him, just for a moment, then he gets a hold of it and buries it deep, the only evidence a few tears in the corner of his eyes. He wipes them away, and stands up. He knows if he thinks about Peter for too long, he won't be able to do anything.

"You're not gonna disappear on me too, are you?" Tony asks the blue girl they'd been fighting with. He doesn't even know who she is, just that she knows the guardians and hates Thanos. That's enough.

"I don't think so," she tells him. Her voice is somewhat robotic, and Tony takes in the different mechanical parts of her. He doesn't know if that's just what they look like where she comes from, or if it's just her, or if she's completely a robot. "Are you?"

"No," Tony says, with certainty. That would be too easy, if he disappeared too. "So how do we get off this planet?"

"We can use Quill's ship," she says, nodding in the appropriate direction. Tony follows her and they reach the ship. It doesn't look in too bad of a state, but as soon as they get inside and try start it, the engine gives out.

"Shit," Tony says, after the third try. "Where's the fuelling system for this thing?"

The girl shows him, and Tony tries not to be creeped out by how quiet she is. Maybe it's a cultural thing; Tony doesn't really know much about alien races.

Together, the two of them assess the damage and brainstorm to figure out how to get it restarted. After a good few hours of work, it looks promising. Just as Tony feels like he's about to pass out, the pain in his abdomen now impossible to ignore, they manage to start the ship. And, just like that, they're flying towards Earth.

They both sit down, exhausted, watching the stars blur past. 

"I'm Tony, by the way," Tony says, just now realising that he hasn't even introduced himself. He doesn't even know her name.

"Nebula."

"Nice to-" Tony winces, taking a moment to breathe, "-meet you," he finishes. He lifts his shirt, checking the wound Thanos oh-so-kindly left for him. It doesn't look the best.

"Thanos," Nebula says, more than an edge of anger behind her word, "let me look at it," she says, prompting him to lie down on the table behind them.

Tony does so, keeping his shirt up. "It's not that bad," he lies, "I'll survive."

"It's infected," Nebula says, not taking any of his bullshit. Tony knows Pepper would like her, already. Immediately, he has to bury that thought, though. If half the universe has disappeared, Pepper could be included in that. He doesn't want to think about that possibility.

Nebula disappears, rummaging through some of the gear in various different drawers and cupboards and boxes.

"Take these," she says, handing him some unfamiliar-looking pills and some water. Alien antibiotics? He takes them, hoping he can trust her. She continues working on the wound, disinfecting it and stitching and bandaging it up. She does a pretty good job, if Tony says so himself, as someone with no medical experience whatsoever. While she works, Tony starts to get chatty. While they were working on the ship, it was fine, he had something to distract him, but now his mind can wander, and think about Peter and Pepper, and everything else that he doesn't need to think about. So he gets chatty instead, as much as he can presume Nebula hates it.

"So, Thanos..." Tony says, "is that like, a personal vendetta, or something? Or just joining in on the universe-saving?"

"Personal vendetta," Nebula answers, simply, "but I would not object to saving the universe if it means killing Thanos."

"Dare I ask what he did?" Tony says. He knows how stupid he probably sounds. He knows what Thanos is capable of, there shouldn't really be an explanation needed of why someone wants to kill him.

"Thanos is my father," Nebula says, "he's the reason I look like this." She points to the different mechanical parts of her, so at least Tony knows why now.

"He...why...?"

"You know Gamora, that Quill was talking about?"

Tony nods.

"She was my sister. She was always Thanos' favourite because she was the better fighter. He would always make us fight. Every time I lost he would replace part of me with a machine."

Tony feels the anger coursing through him. Nebula is practically a stranger, but all she's shown him so far is selfless kindness. At least what Thanos had done to the universe he thought was to save it, this was pure evil. "I'm sorry," Tony says, at a loss for any other words.

"Why are you sorry?" Nebula asks, securing the bandage around Tony's stomach and helping him sit up. "It was Thanos, not you."

Tony swings his legs round over the edge of the table, "You shouldn't have had to go through that. Thank you, for..." he points to his stomach.

Nebula nods in understanding.

Tony gets up, walking back to the front of the ship to look out the windows. "How long do you think we have?"

"Not long," Nebula says, "a few days, at most."

Tony sighs. They'd got the ship moving and heading towards Earth, but Tony doubts they'll make it back any time soon, if at all. Things were looking more and more hopeless by the minute.

When Tony wakes up from sleep a couple of days later, it's to Nebula yelling. Tony gets up, confused and still half asleep. Nebula is stood at the front of the ship.

"What's going on?" Tony asks.

"The engine has failed," Nebula explains, "I thought we would be lucky enough that the ship would keep going."

"No resistance in space," Tony says, only just now realising it.

Nebula nods, "But when the engine failed, the back-up systems took over, and automatically slowed us down gradually. It's a safety protocol, but it means we are stuck."

"Shit," Tony says. There really is no hope left.

As each day passes, trying to cling onto hope just gets even harder. It gets hard to avoid thinking about Peter, too. Every time Tony closes his eyes, he sees him, dying in his arms. It's slowly destroying him and Tony really doesn't know how to continue. Nebula catches him crying, one day. Tony barely even realised it was happening until she pointed it out.

"That boy," she says, "who was he?"

"Peter," Tony answers, not knowing how else to explain it, "he was...important."

"Your son?" Nebula asks.

"As close as you can get," Tony says.

"I'm sorry," Nebula says. That alone surprises Tony. The first day on the ship, she didn't understand when Tony said sorry to her for what Thanos did, now she's doing the same.

"Thanos will pay," Tony says, "even if we're not around to make him pay ourselves."

"We will be," Nebula says, insistent, "you should eat something," she adds. She'd noticed how little Tony was eating, trying to preserve the small rations there were. He kept insisting that she took some of the food, but she hardly needed it after all of Thanos' modifications. She could survive just fine.

Things kept going like that each day. Tony not eating. Nebula forcing him to eat. Him trying to get her to eat, too. Her refusing. They had a schedule.

The two of them got closer and closer each day. In a small ship with nothing to do but talk, they learnt almost everything about one another. Nebula went into more depth about her childhood with Thanos, and it only made Tony hate him more than he already did. He wouldn't have thought that was possible, before. Tony went into more depth about his life, his shitty childhood with his dad, though nothing compared to Nebula's. How he became Iron Man, the Avengers, Pepper, Peter, everything. Even though Tony knows at this point that they won't make it home, he's already promised Nebula a room at the compound alongside the Avengers. What little of them there must be left.

Around the two week mark, they really run out of things to talk about. They've gone through everything.

"How about we play a game?" Tony asks, when the two of them are sat in the pilot chairs, staring out at the stars.

"A...game?" Nebula asks, more confused than Tony would expect.

"Yeah, a game," Tony says. He gets up, goes into the back of the ship and starts rummaging through everything to see what they could make a game out of. Nebula follows after a moment, standing curiously behind him.

Tony finds an old cassette first. Music is exactly what they need to boost their mood and distract them from their impending doom. He clicks it into the music system, and presses it on. An old 80s song fills the ship. Exactly what they need.

After some more rummaging, Tony finds some paper.

"Perfect," Tony says, and gets Nebula to sit across from him at the table while he folds the paper up. "So put your hands up like this," he explains, showing her the positioning, "and then I'll try and score by hitting the paper between your hands." 

Tony leans back, focusing and aiming, then flicks the paper. Nebula immediately lunges, practically attacking the paper with a grunt. Tony hides a laugh.

"You don't need to do that," he tells her, "because you're just holding the position." He shows her the hand position again, and she tries to score.

She misses, but not too badly.

"That was close," he says. She tries again, and scores. "That's a goal. We're now one a-piece."

"I would like to try again," Nebula says. Tony admires her determination. He lets her try again. And again. And again. He gets a few turns in between. He definitely sees some improvement.

"We're tied up," he tells her, "feel the tension? It's fun." He shoots as he talks, badly missing. "That was terrible, now you have a chance to win."

She does exactly that.

"And you've won," Tony says, "congratulations. Fair game. Good sport." He sticks his hand out for her to shake. She takes it, somewhat hesitantly. "You had fun?"

"It was fun," she agrees. The slight smile she cracks is enough to make Tony feel better, despite everything.

After that, that's how they spend most days. Nebula gets better the more they practice, and Tony gets worse as he gets weaker and weaker. It's not long before they completely run out of food and water, and now they just have to wait to run out of oxygen, too. Tony can practically feel himself wasting away. He knows he doesn't have much time left. Nebula does too, and she's a lot more sympathetic with him. She starts to go easy on him when they play.

"You won," Nebula says, acting as if her half-hearted flick that only reached halfway across the table counted as a miss. 

"I guess I did," Tony says, humouring her. He wants he to think she's doing something to help, even though he knows she can't. "Oxygen is going to run out tomorrow," he says, bringing up the topic they've been avoiding. Tony's knows they've both done the calculations. Tony also knows Nebula doesn't need oxygen anymore, so she'll just be left alone in this ship without him.

Nebula looks sad. "There is still hope."

Tony shakes his head. Even that is tiring, at this point. "I think I'm gonna record a message, for Pepper. Just in case she gets it, one day."

"I'll get it to her," Nebula promises, "if I find a way to Earth, somehow."

Tony nods, "Thank you."

Nebula gives him a small smile, which is a lot for her. 

Tony smiles back, getting up slowly and making his way over to the front of the ship. Nebula disappears out of sight, giving him some privacy. Tony picks his helmet up off of one of the chairs, and sits down on the floor, sitting it in front of him. He pushes the button inside the mask to start the recording. He needs to get this done as quickly as he can, he knows he hardly has any energy left. 

"This thing on?" he says, tapping it until he sees it light up. "Hey Miss Potts...Pep. If you find this recording, don't post it on social media, it's gonna be a real tear-jerker. I don't know if you're ever gonna see these. I don't even know if you're still..." he stops that thought before it can start, like he has every other time it came up. In the little time Tony has left, he wants to believe Pepper still alive. "Oh, god, I hope so. Today is day..21, uh, 22. You know, if it wasn't for the existential terror of staring into the literal void of space I'd say I'm feeling a little better today. The infections run its course, thanks to the blue meanie back there. Oh, you'd love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic. Some of the fuel cells were cracked during battle, but we figured a way to reverse the ion charge to buy ourselves, about, 48 hours of flight time. But now it's dead in the water. We're 1,000 lightyears away from the nearest 7-11. Oxygen will run out tomorrow morning. And that'll be it. And Pep, I...I know I said no more surprises, but I gotta say I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like...well, you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this. I mean, actually, if you grovel for a couple weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt." Tony takes a moment. He doesn't want to think about Pepper moving on. He wants to be with her forever.

"I should probably lie down," he continues, "I'm gonna rest my eyes. Please know, when I drift off...it'll be like everything lately, I'm fine, I'm totally fine. I'll dream about you. Because it's always you."

Tony turns the recording off. He knows that's his last contact with Pepper, even if she never gets it. He has faith in Nebula, but he doesn't know if this ship will ever be anything but stranded.

Moving the helmet out of the way, Tony lies down, using Quill's jacket as a blanket. This is it, he knows it. He lets his eyes fall shut, and everything else fall away.

Nebula finds him, later. She checks on him, can feel him clinging to his last bit of life. She picks him up and puts him into Quill's chair, careful not to disturb or knock him. She wishes she could do something more.  _Anything_ more. But she can't. Through her whole life, Tony is the only person she's been able to open up to, to really talk to, and the only person to show her real, genuine kindness, and now he's dying and there's nothing she can do to save him.

She watches him for a moment longer, before she turns and leaves. Thanos took away any ability she had to cry, but if anyone could make her it would be Tony Stark.


	2. Earth's Aftermath

After it happened, a blanket of silence descended on Wakanda. There weren’t cries out and the yelling of names, not after the first five minutes. Everyone knew exactly what had happened; what they’d been trying to fight against had succeeded. They’d lost. Thanos had won. Half the universe had disappeared.

Everyone sits in a shocked silence. They don’t know what to do, how to move on from this.

Steve watches Bucky disappear. His best friend. The man he’d seen die. The man he’d searched for for so _long_ , fought so _hard_ for, had given up _everything_ for. He was gone, all over again. Steve feels himself starting to slip, kneeling there on the floor. His composure starts to fall, his emotions surging up.

He can’t.

He pushes it all down. He needs to focus. Who else has disappeared? He looks back at Thor, and they hold each other’s eyes for a moment. Neither of them disappear. With that reassurance, Steve gets up and into action. He runs through the woods; in the direction he remembers seeing everyone last.

He finds Bruce, Thor again, now with a Racoon, and Rhodey.

“Where’s Wanda?” Steve says, “Vision?”

“Steve…” Bruce says, gesturing behind him. Steve turns, the dread building in the pit of his stomach already. Behind him, through the bushes, he can see a grey figure on the ground. The closer he gets, the better he can see Vision’s lifeless, colourless body lying amongst the undergrowth. It only gets worse when he gets next to him and sees the pile of ash and dust alongside him.

Steve’s legs give out completely then, and he’s kneeling next to what’s left of Vision and Wanda. They lost.

“What is this? What the hell is happening?” Rhodey says, the others having caught up with him.

“Oh god,” Steve says, “it’s over.”

He feels a hand on his shoulder, and turns to see Natasha, looking down at him sympathetically. A small wave of relief washes over him. She’s still here. It doesn’t do much to break away the all-consuming dread of what just happened, but it’s something.

“He did it,” Nat says. Her eyebrows are drawn together, her face tense.

“I know,” Steve says, “Bucky…”

Nat’s face softens, looking at him apologetically. She squeezes her hand on his shoulder.

It takes a while for Steve to get back up again. When he does, he immediately notices who’s missing. He turns straight to Rhodey, and the look on his face should already be enough, but Steve can’t help but ask.

“Where’s Sam?”

Rhodey shakes his head, sad and apologetic. “I couldn’t find him.”

Steve tries not to just give up right then and there. Losing Bucky is hard enough, as well as Wanda and Vision, but _Sam,_ too, is too much.

“We need to get home,” Bruce says. Everyone else agrees. Steve can hardly say a word.

Not much happens between that and them getting on the quinjet to fly home. Even talking to some of the Wakandans, they’re all just as shaken up by everything that a conversation is barely had. Nat reassures them that they’re going to fix this, somehow. Steve wants to believe her.

On board the quinjet, while everyone else sits in a deadly silence, Natasha paces back and forth, on her phone. She’s trying Clint’s phone over and over again, praying he picks up. She doesn’t know what she’d do if he doesn’t. He _has to_ pick up.

Eventually, after however many tries, he does.

“Nat?” he says down the phone. The stress and confusion in his voice scares her straight away.

“Clint, thank god,” she says.

“Something’s happened, I don’t-”

“I know,” she interrupts.

“You know?”

“It was Thanos.”

“Thanos?”

“He was the one that sent Loki and the army to New York,” Nat explains. Clint’s silence is enough of a reaction to that. “He wanted to collect all these powerful stones, like the Tesseract, so that he could wipe out half the universe with a snap of his fingers.”

Silence. “I’m guessing he went through with it,” Clint says, eventually.

“We tried to stop him.”

“My whole family’s gone, Nat,” Clint says, “Laura, Cooper, Lila, Nathaniel. All of them.”

“Oh my god,” Nat says, “I’m sorry.”

More silence.

“We’re going back to New York now, if you want to-”

“I can’t, Nat,” Clint interrupts, “I’m sorry.”

And with that, the line drops dead. Natasha sighs.

“Clint’s alive,” she tells the group.

“Is he meeting us in New York?” Bruce asks.

Natasha shakes her head, “I don’t think so.”

The rest of the group doesn’t question it, seeing her reaction. She moves on, going back to her phone, picking out a new number. Fury. She calls him just as persistently as she had with Clint, but this time, he doesn’t pick up.

“Shit,” Nat says, sitting in front of the on-board computer. Fury can’t be gone. It’s _Fury_. He _can’t_ be. She keeps repeating this to herself, over and over and over, as she gets access to Fury’s system, figures out where he was last. He was driving. Stopped at exactly the time of the snap.

It doesn’t sound promising, but anyone would stop driving if people started disappearing. He could just still be investigating, trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Everything okay?” Steve asks, appearing behind her.

“I can’t get a hold of Fury,” Nat explains, “we might need to make a detour to…exactly here,” she says, pointing at the blinking dot on the map signifying Fury’s car.

Steve nods.

Across the way, Thor watches the two of them in silence. Rocket sits next to him, sharing his silence.

“I told you had a lot to lose,” Rocket says.

“It's my fault. I messed it up,” Thor replies. His voice is detached and robotic.

“We all messed it up, man.”

“I had the chance to kill him.”

“So did a lot of people.”

“This was all for nothing,” Thor says, nearly breaking with the last word.

“What was?”

“Heimdall. Loki. All of the Asgardians. They were killed, _slaughtered_ , for nothing.”

Rocket gives Thor an apologetic look, not knowing how to comfort him. Thor senses this.

“The guardians, are they okay?” he asks, trying to keep things vaguely resembling normal.

It doesn’t work, and a nerve is clearly hit in Rocket. “I don’t know,” he says, “I’ve tried to send a message to our ship, but…nada. It could’ve been damaged if they fought Thanos, who knows. Or they could all be dust floating in space.”

Thor claps him on the back, rubbing it reassuringly. The two of them descend back into silence.

The detour doesn’t bring any of them much hope, either. They land on the street. At this point, hardly any of the citizens of New York are fazed by it. Natasha runs out first, straight to the car she recognises as Fury’s. The doors are open. A pile of dust is by the driver’s side, another near the back of the car. Fury is nowhere to be seen. Nat falls to her knees, trying to stop the tears from coming out. The man who’d given her a home, been the first to trust her, helped her to become the good that he saw in her, was now no more than a pile of dust. She feels a hand on her shoulder and the tears really fall.

After a few minutes, she takes a deep breath, composing herself. When she opens her eyes, she sees something she definitely hadn’t before. In the middle of the dust, some kind of device sits beeping and flashing. A small flicker of hope lights up in Nat’s chest. This is definitely Fury’s doing. And whatever it is, maybe it could be what they need to fix this.

They take it back to the compound, getting Bruce to figure out what it is and what it’s doing. Apparently, it’s sending some kind of signal, a lot further than any kind of Earthly device can send. Nat gets him to keep the signal going; no matter what it can’t stop. She needs to find out whoever that signal is going to, because whoever it is, Fury thinks they can help.

“Any news on the device?” Steve asks when Nat comes back into the room from checking it again. Steve’s sat in front of the system they’ve got set up, keeping track of everyone reporting missing across the globe. She can see that he’s torturing himself over it, but she also knows there’s no way she can stop him.

“Nothing yet,” she tells him, sitting down with a sigh. “Any word on Tony?”

Steve shakes his head. As soon as they got to the compound, he was searching every possible resource to figure out where Tony could be. As far as they know, he left on the spaceship, and hasn’t come back since. He could be stranded in space, or a pile of dust like the rest of half the universe. “Nothing yet.”

The next few weeks continue on the same. Natasha pesters Bruce and Rhodey every five minutes about the device. Steve tortures himself over the missing numbers getting higher and higher. Thor and Rocket sit, mourning their losses. It doesn’t get better. It gets worse and worse and worse.

Eventually, Steve starts to regret getting the whole system set up. He thought it was a good idea, to start with. They’re the Avengers; they’re the ones that lost, they’re the ones that need to fix this. Hence, they need to keep an eye on what’s going on, keep up to date with everything. Still, it doesn’t make it any easier watching the numbers climb every single second, the missing reaching the millions and billions.

He can see that Natasha’s struggling just as much. Both of them feel so helpless. Every attempt they've made to figure out where Thanos is has been useless. The only hope they have is whatever that thing is that they found where Fury disappeared, but that seems to be dwindling by the minute, too.

“Hey,” Rhodey says, drawing both of their attentions away from the terrifying numbers, “so that thing just…stopped doing whatever the hell it was doing.”

Steve and Nat share a look. This could be good or bad news. They can hope for the former, but the way things are going it doesn’t feel likely.

They follow Rhodey back into the lab where they’d been keeping an eye on whatever it is. Bruce is still sat there, trying to figure it out, presumably with no luck.

“What’ve we got?” Nat asks.

“Whatever signal it’s sending finally crapped out,” Bruce explains.

“I thought we bypassed the battery,” Steve says. He sounds stressed. Natasha can’t blame him; they all are right now, but he always gets particularly stressed when they’re dealing with technology he doesn’t understand, especially now that they don’t have Tony around.

“Oh, we did,” Rhodey says, “it’s still plugged in. It just…just stopped.”

“Reboot it, send the signal again,” Steve says.

“Well, we don’t even know what this is,” Bruce says.

“Fury did,” Nat says. She has full confidence in him. He disappeared with half the universe, but he must’ve known _something_ that could help them, “just do it, please. You tell me the second you get a signal; I want to know who’s on the other end of that thing.”

Nat turns around, ready to go back and check the numbers again. She’s not ready, not really, but there’s a morbid fascination in there, linked in with this desperate feeling that she could be doing _something_ to help these people, _anything_.

She walks straight into someone else. A woman. Blonde hair and in some kind of suit. She looks exactly like a superhero, but never one Nat’s seen before.

“Where’s Fury?”

“How do you know Fury?” Natasha returns.

“Tell me where he is,” the woman repeats, stepping forward, her hands in fists at her side.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Rhodey says, standing next to Natasha and getting somewhat between the two of them, “we know Fury. We’re friends of his.”

“Then you can tell me where he is.”

“He’s gone,” Steve say, “I don’t know if you’ve seen what’s been going on across the universe, but he went with it.”

The woman turns to look at Steve, instead. “I’ve seen,” she says.

“Then maybe you can help us,” Steve says, “because Fury seemed to think you could.”

The woman holds his stare, but Steve doesn’t back down.

“I’m Steve,” he says, “Rogers.”

She stares at him for a bit longer, “Carol,” she says, “Danvers.”

“Wait,” Natasha says, “Carol Danvers, like, Captain Marvel?”

“What?” Carol says, frowning at her, genuine confusion written across her face.

“Captain Marvel,” Natasha repeats, “Fury talked about you all the time.”

“Marvel?” Carol asks, “Or Mar-Vell?”

“I’m pretty sure it was Marvel,” Natasha says.

Carol sighs. “Of course, Fury. It’s pronounced Mar-Vell, don’t ever let him tell you otherwise.”

Rhodey laughs, and he and Carol share a smile.

Steve and Nat don’t share the humour. “Is there a reason why Fury would’ve contacted you?” Steve asks, getting back to business.

“I gave him that,” Carol says, gesturing behind her at the pager, “in case of emergencies, if he needed my help. So, presumably, so that I can help.”

“How?” Natasha asks.

“You tell me,” Carol says, “I don’t even know what’s going on.”

So, they start from the beginning. They all sit down, and recount everything that’s happened with Thanos and the infinity stones and how it ended up that half the universe disappeared.

“Has anyone tried telling him that his plan doesn’t make sense?” Carol asks, when they finally finish.

“He’s pretty determined,” Rhodey says, “he’s not the kind of person you tell that they’re wrong.”

“How do we find him?” Carol asks.

“We don’t know,” Steve says, “we’ve tried everything. Bruce has worked with a handful of the stones before, so he can track their energy signature, but Thanos hasn’t used them since the snap. I can only think of one person that might know where he went, but-”

“Who?” Carol interrupts.

“Tony Stark,” Natasha answers for Steve, “but we haven’t heard from him since before the snap. He’s either stranded in space or disappeared with everyone else.”

“Any clue where?” Carol asks.

Steve’s phone rings before anyone can shrug or look around helplessly.

“Excuse me,” Steve says, picking up the phone and leaving the room. He shuts the door gently behind him. “Hello?”

“Steve?” a female voice asks, “It’s Pepper.”

“Pepper, how are you?”

“It’s Tony,” Pepper says, skipping the formalities, “I got a message from his suit.”

“He’s still alive,” Steve says, relief washing over him.

“Barely,” Pepper says, “he’s stranded on a ship with no food or water, and hardly any oxygen.”

Steve kicks into action mode straight away. “Come to the compound. We can try and figure out where the signal came from.”

Steve hangs up, re-joining the others. Inside the room, Rocket is sat at a computer typing away, doing who knows what. Behind him, Carol and Natasha watch over his shoulder.

“We have word from Tony,” Steve announces. Natasha looks up straight away, forgetting about whatever else is going on.

“He survived?” She asks, the hope in her eyes evident.

“Apparently,” Steve says, “Pepper got a message from his suit, she’s on her way over now.”

It doesn’t take long for Pepper to get there, one of Tony’s helmets under her arm. They all gather round to watch the message play out, everyone sitting in stunned silence at the state Tony’s in.

“Can we track it?” Nat asks, her voice full of emotion, cracking with it.

“No need,” Rocket says, “that’s my ship.”

“You know where it is?” Steve asks.

“It’s what we were looking for earlier,” Rocket explains, climbing back onto the chair in front of the computer. He types for a minute, then sits back. “Exact coordinates, ready and waiting for your rescue,” he says, looking at Carol.

She makes a note on something on her wrist, and then is straight out the door, “I’ll be back.”

“She can get to Tony?” Pepper asks.

“She says she can,” Nat tells her, “Fury knew her. We can trust her.”

Pepper nods, picking up the helmet again and holding it a little too tightly.

“Actually,” Rocket says, “could I borrow that?”

Pepper looks confused, partly because she hasn’t met Rocket before and is understandable thrown aback by him, but the question throws her too. “Why?” she asks.

“I want to watch it again,” he explains, “to, uh, check on my ship.”

Pepper’s confusion doesn’t clear up any, but she still hands it over. Rocket leaves the room, finding a private corner to sit. He watches the message again, listening to this Stark talking about the ‘blue meanie’. He knows who _that_ is. There’s no mention of anyone else. He checks again, and again, and again. Still nothing. Maybe if he just looks a _little bit_ harder, he could find some sign of anyone else being on that ship.

A knock on the door disturbs his fifth re-watch, and Rocket shuts it off.

“Do I need to question this strange behaviour?” Thor asks, poking his head in.

“I told you I had a lot to lose,” Rocket says, “I’m trying to find out how much of it I’ve actually lost.”

Thor invites himself in, sitting down next to Rocket. “What are you looking for?”

“Stark is on my ship,” Rocket starts.

“The same one you picked me up on?”

Rocket nods. “This means he must’ve run into Quill and the others, but there’s no mention of them in this,” he says, “other than Nebula.”

“Nebula?”

“Gamora’s sister.”

“I’m sure the others are on board, too,” Thor says, trying to be reassuring.

“I guess we’ll see," Rocket says. His voice doesn't hold much hope.

Outside of the compound, Pepper is sat on one of the benches, watching and waiting. After a while, Natasha comes and joins her.

“How are you doing?” she asks.

“Tony’s alive,” Pepper says, “that’s all that matters.”

“In the video…”

“I know. He’ll get better. We’ll make him better.”

“Is everything okay, with you? A month is a long time.”

Pepper sighs, “I know. The morning he disappeared, he told me about this dream, that we had a kid.”

“I didn’t know Tony wanted kids.”

“He didn’t,” Pepper says, "he didn't trust himself, especially not with the way his dad was. But I think things changed because of..."

"That kid? In Berlin, right?"

Pepper nods, "He and Tony are close. The way he talked about that dream…he was so _excited_. He was completely convinced I was pregnant. But ever since New York, he’s been so paranoid. He can never just rest and shut off. I don’t know if he’s ready to be a dad.”

“Pepper,” Natasha says, serious, “I’ve haven’t known Tony anywhere near as long as you, but we’ve still known each other for over a decade. I can say without a doubt that, whether he’s ready or not, he’d be the best dad ever.”

Pepper smiles, the sadness and worry still clear behind it. She knows Natasha’s right. “Let’s hope so,” she says, “because Tony was right.”

Nat stares at her for a moment, processing what she’s saying. A look of disbelief crosses over her face, and her eyes flick between Pepper’s face and her stomach. “Really?”

Pepper nods, smiling. Ever since she found out it had been a burden. She had had no idea whether Tony was alive or not, but now she had hope. That small glimmer that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay was getting brighter and brighter.

“Congratulations,” Nat says, giving Pepper a genuine, honest smile. Probably her first one in weeks. She takes Pepper’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “You guys are gonna be okay.”


	3. Rescued and Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't accept carol hate so don't even try

Darkness. Calm, peaceful darkness. Tony’s accepted it. This is his fate. He’s been expecting it for a long time, since Loki arrived in New York. He knew this is where he’d have to end up, one day. The darkness is welcoming, even. His hunger is gone, along with his thirst. The deep ache in his lungs is nowhere to be found. Tony can finally rest.

Except, of course, he can’t. His calm is interrupted with light, slowly seeping in and burning away the edges of his darkness, until it’s burning bright, filling his vision and making his eyes ache. Everything else follows. The hunger, the thirst, the ache. It all comes back, and Tony is dragged back to his body, forced to remember where he is and what’s going on.

He winces, an immediate reaction, bring his hand up to his face to try and block out the light and bring back the darkness he’d welcomed so easily.

The light couldn’t be deterred, though. Tony slowly blinks his eyes open to try and understand what’s going on. It takes a moment to get his eyes to adjust, after nothing but pitch-black space for weeks on end, he could barely process so much light. His eyes gradually focused on the ball of light in front of him, the very last thing he expected to see in the middle a woman, floating in the space in front of the ship.

It takes Tony a moment to find the thoughts to even speak. “Hey, meanie,” he calls out behind him. Nebula appears at his shoulder a moment later. “I think we’ve got help,” he says.

“I’ll let her in,” Nebula says.

She comes back a minute later, the glowing woman in tow, no longer glowing.

“So, you’re not a light source all the time?” Tony jokes.

Not-glowing woman smirks at him. “I’m guessing you’re Stark.”

“You know me?” Tony says, genuinely surprised. A stranger randomly coming across them felt more likely than a rescue mission, at this point.

“I do,” the woman says, “I’m Carol.”

“Tony,” Tony says, “this is Nebula. How do you know me?”

“I recently met a group of people very concerned about your wellbeing.”

Tony’s heart skips a beat. Carol must’ve spoken to whatever’s left of the Avengers. “Who?” Tony asks, “Who’s still…alive?”

“Steve?” Carol says, “He’s the only name I learnt. Oh, and Pepper, that got your message.”

Relief washes over Tony. Pepper’s alive. Steve’s alive. “Who else was there?”

“Uh, a woman with white hair.” Nat. “A guy with mechanical legs.” Rhodey. “A big, beefy guy.” Thor. “A racoon.” That threw Tony. Last he checked; a raccoon wasn’t part of the Avengers. “And, this timid guy with glasses.” Bruce.

Tony sighs. This is good. He’s not going to think about the names missing from that list, because he knows it’ll be too hard. That’s just the people that spoke to Carol, who knows who else was there that she didn’t meet. Tony takes a deep breath; the sigh having taken all his breath and energy. He sits back further in the chair, feeling his tiredness creeping back up on him. If he just closes his eyes for a minute…

“I think it’s time I take you home,” Carol says, jolting Tony awake again. He’s not sure if he fell asleep or what happened, but he knows he had to open his eyes again.

Tony nods, “That’s probably a good idea.”

He barely pays attention to what’s going on next, just that Nebula and Carol leave, and the ship starts moving. Tony drifts off somewhere along the way.

When he wakes up, it’s to Nebula gently shaking him.

“We’re here,” she tells him, “do you need help?”

Tony tries to stand on his own, and Nebula catches him just before he falls straight to the ground. “Thanks,” he says.

She takes him to the back of the ship, where the door is open and the stairs out. Before Tony can even register where they’ve landed, Steve is right in front of him, taking him off of Nebula and supporting him with an iron tight grip.

Tony turns, hesitant. He and Nebula have been just the two of them for the past three weeks. He wants to stay with her, thank her, reassure her that everything will be fine, but Steve is leading him away while Nebula stays behind, watching stoically.

“Couldn’t stop him,” Tony says.

“Neither could I,” Steve reassures him.

Tony wants to explain everything to Steve. What happened on Titan, what happened after the snap, how he watched everyone disappear until it got to the kid Tony cared most about, how he was stranded in space for _weeks_ , with no hope of rescue. He wants to say all of it, but he can barely manage a word. He stops in his tracks, catching his breath and trying to get his thoughts together.

“I lost the kid,” Tony says, reducing all of it down to just that. That's all that matters, in the end.

“Tony,” Steve says, “we lost.”

Tony knows they lost. God, does he know. “Is, um-”

The two of them are interrupted by Pepper running up to them, and Tony can barely even comprehend the relief he feels. He knows Carol said she saw Pepper, but Tony knew he couldn’t believe it until he really saw her.

“Oh, god,” Tony says.

“Oh my god,” Pepper says, tears already filling her eyes. She pulls him into a tight hug, sobbing gently over his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he tells her, kissing her cheek when she pulls away. “We’re okay.”

Behind them, Rocket goes up to Nebula. “They’re gone, aren’t they?”

She nods and he sighs, already knowing it was true but hated having it confirmed even more. He sits down next to her and squeezes her hand. They’re the only ones left, now.

When they all get inside, Tony wants to discuss, figure out what’s going on, get an action plan. Steve agrees, he wants to keep moving, keep working now that Tony’s back as their new hope. Pepper puts her foot down, though. She takes Tony to Bruce, gets him to check on him and give him medicine and an IV so he’s on his way to recovery. Then, she tells everyone to go to bed and get some rest. Tony especially. They can reconvene in the morning.

They do exactly that. Tony doesn’t look much better in the morning, but he’s feeling livelier. He feels ready to fix this, do _something._ Peter can't just be gone. Thanos can't have won.

“What happened?” Tony asks, “Thanos came to Titan for the time stone, beat the shit out of all of us, and Strange gave it away. Then, what? He came to you guys? He only needed one more stone after us.”

“The mind stone,” Natasha says.

“Vision.”

“I’m sorry, Tony,” Steve says.

Tony can barely even process what it means. No one even says it explicitly, he just gets some sympathetic looks from everyone. He feels numb to it. Everything just gets worse and worse by the minute; it doesn’t feel real. He doesn’t want it to be real.

“So, we lost,” Tony says, trying to push on and ignore how he’s feeling, the deep aching in his chest at this news, “what’s happening? Me and Nebula were on Titan and watched everyone we were with disappear. How’s Earth still functioning?”

“It barely is,” Rhodey says, “it’s been 23 days since Thanos came to Earth.”

“World governments are in pieces,” Nat continues, “the parts that are still working are trying to take a census.”

Between them all, flashes up photos of those they know are missing or disappeared. As soon as Peter’s face flashes up, Tony looks away. He just sees him, scared and in pain, disappearing in his arms all over again.

“And it looks like he did… He did exactly what he said he was gonna do,” Natasha says, “Thanos wiped out…fifty percent of all living creatures.”

The other side of the room, Carol listens to this for the second time in less than a day. She sees Fury’s face flash up in front of her and the tears already building in her eyes threaten to spill. She hasn’t seen him in a good 20 years, and she can see it on his face. She wishes she’d come back to visit Earth, at least once. Seen Fury one last time. Maybe she’d have found out about Thanos and could’ve stopped this before it happened.

“Where is he now? Where?” Tony asks. He’s trying to work it out in his head. If they find Thanos, get the stones, they can reverse this. Bring everyone back.

“We don’t know,” Steve says, “he just opened a portal and walked through.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Tony asks, pointing at Thor. He hasn’t said a word to him since he arrived.

“He’s pissed,” Rocket says, “he thinks he failed. Which of course he did, but, you know, there’s a lot of that going around, ain’t there?”

“Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a build-a-bear.”

“Maybe I am.”

“We’ve been hunting Thanos for three weeks now,” Steve interrupts, not wanting the distraction, “deep space scans, and…satellites, and we got nothing. Tony, you fought him.”

“Who told you that? I didn’t fight him,” Tony says, immediately getting defensive. He doesn’t want any misconceptions here, thinking Tony can do any more than the rest of them, was any closer than the rest of them to stop Thanos. “No, he wiped my face with a planet, while the Bleaker Street magician gave away the stone. That’s what happened, there was no fight-”

“Okay,” Steve says, already backtracking.

“He’s- he’s unbeatable.”

“Did he give you any clues? Any coordinates, anything?”

Tony all but rolls his eyes. As if Thanos would sit him down and jot down the coordinates for his retirement plan, just in case Tony wanted to stop in and say hi. He has no words for Steve. He’s had enough of this all, already. When he saw Steve last night, he didn’t bring up the history and tension between them. He wanted to keep it in the past. Tony was on deaths door, and only just managed to be brought back from it and had lost too many people to start a fight with who he had left. But now, it’s just all coming back to him. He _tried_ to stop this. He knew this was going to happen, but no one listened. Least of all Steve. And now Vision was dead, and Peter, and half of the universe.

“I saw this coming a few years back,” Tony starts, “I had a vision, I didn’t wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming.”

“Tony, I’m gonna need you to focus,” Steve says, and that just really pushes Tony over the edge. That’s the last straw.

“And I _needed_ you. As in, past tense. That trumps what you need. It’s too late, buddy. Sorry. You know what I need?” Tony says, slamming his hand down on the table, knocking what’s left of his breakfast over, “I need a shave. And I believe I remember telling-”

“Tony,” Rhodey says, voice serious as soon as Tony starts pulling at his IV, “Tony, Tony.”

“-all of you, that what we needed was a suit of armour around the world. Remember that? Whether it impacted our _precious freedoms_ or not. That’s what we needed.”

“Well that didn’t work out, did it?” Steve says, just pissing Tony off even further.

“I said we’d lose, you said ‘we’ll do that together too’. Well guess what, Cap? We lost. And you weren’t there. But that’s what we do, right? Our best work after the fact?” Tony starts to lose his balance, but he keeps going, ignoring Rhodey trying to keep him upright, “We’re the Avengers? We’re the Avengers, not the Pre-vengers?”

“Okay, you made your point,” Rhodey says, “just sit down, okay?”

“No, no, here’s my-” Tony tries to continue, meeting eyes with Carol across the room, “she’s great, by the way. We need you, you’re new blood. Bunch of tired old mills. I got _nothing_ ,” Tony finally breaks away from Rhodey, stepping up, toe to toe with Steve, “for you, Cap. I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust, liar.”

Tony rips the arc reactor off of his chest, placing it forcefully in Steve’s hand.

“Here, take this. You find him and you put that on. You hide.”

Tony takes a deep breath, trying to catch it, before he falls back, barely stopping himself from making it all the way to the floor.

“Tony-” Steve says, as about a million arms lunge for him.

“I’m _fine_ ,” Tony says, before he collapses completely.


End file.
